JOKES!!

[lollol]

Hey guys,I was just bored so i made this topic ;D

If You have any good jokes post em here i got some nice ones:

There’s a man who has such big feet that when it rains, he lies down and uses them as umbrellas.



“ I snored so much and so loud that I used to wake myself up” a man told his friend.
“ What did you do about it?” his friend asked.
“ Oh,” the man said, “ now I sleep in the next room and I don’t hear a thing.”




last winter, the cow caught such a bad cold that she gave ice cream instead of milk.



On day, a man was riding a horse when he passed a dog on the road. “Good morning,” the dog said.
“I didn’t know dogs could talk,” the man said.
“Neither did I,” the horse said.


There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"





TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!


TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."


TEACHER : Now, Simon,tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good



TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher

[Joker]

funny^^

[Purity]

lmao nice jokes.

[Drunk Mario]

haha nice jokers!

[Deathtron55]

is this just for your jokes or can we post them because im pretty much a professional comedian.

                                           ~me

[lollol]

no u can post ur jokes too  ;)

[Banjo Hick]

I like the final one that was posted. Happens every single day in all of my classes...

[Dench]

kinda Rude joke-
A woman was playing golf, she hit the ball and hit a man, he held his groin and fell to the floor in agony, she ran down to him and said do you want me to masaage it? he says yes, so she puts her hand down his trousers and start's to massage it, 5 mins later she say's is that better? he say's yeah but i still think i broke my thumb!

[Banjo Hick]

Lol, that was hilarious.

[lollol]

Hilarious!!Didn't Get It At The Beggining But Now I DO IT'S CRAZY  ;D

[HotMax123]

ok so a midget is driving a car and some dud crashes into his car! he gets out and says to the other guy" I'm not happy!" the other guy says" which one are you!?"

happy was a dwarf in snow white get it cuz if he's not Happy which one is he?