Fmylife Viewer's

[God Colin]

If you visit fmylife and you want to share on of the fmylife post's wiht all of us post it here!

My fmylife funniest post:
1. Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

[Zack]

Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML

[Coleshot1]

"Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML"
Wow. Owned? :o

[God Colin]

"Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML"
Wow. Owned? :o

Yeah that was hilarious.

[Banjo Hick]

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

[God Colin]

HAAHAH this is hilarious!

Today, I got my phone taken up in school. The principal looked through my pictures, and found naked pictures of a girl on there. He called me into the office and tried to get me to tell him who it was. I had to explain to my principal the girl in the pictures was his daughter. FML

[Zack]

HAAHAH this is hilarious!

Today, I got my phone taken up in school. The principal looked through my pictures, and found naked pictures of a girl on there. He called me into the office and tried to get me to tell him who it was. I had to explain to my principal the girl in the pictures was his daughter. FML

They're not allowed to look at your phone after they take it. It's not their property. Lawsuit much? :P

[Banjo Hick]

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

Today, I found out that brushing your teeth with the opposite hand stimulates brain activity in the morning. I tried it and stabbed myself in the back of the throat. I'm wide awake now. FML


by the way zack, not every school has that policy mine does, but my friends' doesn't